20 Best Puns!

Just below here are the best puns to crack you up day or night!

#1 People often ask me 'How do I stay down to earth?'. I simply respond 'Gravity'.

#2 "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

#3 What do you call a buoy out at sea? 'Bob'

#4 I'm glad I know sign language. It comes in pretty handy!

#5 Did you hear about the guy who has his left leg and left arm amputated after a car crash? He's all right now!

#6 I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!

#7 Why did the sea monster eat 6 ships full of potatoes? Nobody can only eat just one potato ship.

#8 What does a sea monster eat? Fish and ships.

#9 All these sea monster jokes are just Kraken me up!

#10 Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, "What's your favourite kind of music?" The other says, "I'm a huge metal fan."

#11 Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen.

#12 There was a kidnapping at school yesterday! Don't worry - he woke up.

#13 Parallel lines have got so much in common, it's such a shame that they'll never meet!

#14 You know what really bugs me? Insect puns.

#15 If I ever run out of eggs, I would be terrifried!

#16 Don't worry I won't make any sausage jokes to go with these eggs. They would just be the Wurst!

#17 How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

#18 When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

#19 I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any.

#20 She had a photographic memory but never developed it.

How would a '20 best puns' article be complete without pun number 21?

# Why did the grizzly hate this article? He can't bear puns! #

Credit for some of the puns: Yuening Tong, Calliope Tuela, Mr Swaine, Miss Sudlow.